Un Corps Juste

Special

abandontheships:

uncorpsjuste:

The thing that upsets me the most about being poly is the fact that I don’t feel special to my partner(s). Since they all have other partners, it feels to me like I’m just another person they spend time with. I’m not saying that these relationships aren’t meaningful or don’t have depth; quite the contrary, I think the relationship I’m (sort of) in right now is becoming one of the more meaningful relationships I’ve ever had. But at the same time, it doesn’t feel unique. I don’t feel like our relationship is any more meaningful to my partner than those of any of the other people she’s with.

Does that make sense? Any advice on how to look at this from a different perspective?

This is actually something that gets brought up in my relationship quite a bit and..

People just aren’t replaceable, to me. My partners are special to me, I care incredibly deeply about all of them, yes in unique ways but.. time with one of them isn’t a stand in for time with anyone else. It just can’t be, and it’s worth more to me than just randomly being around people, as well. I can’t say any of them are “more” or “less” meaningful to me, but they mean a lot to me in different ways. I’m not able to word anything too well today, so.. um. I hope that helps?

Thanks for your thoughts. It helps some, and it makes sense. I’ve only ever had one serious partner since deciding to give polyamory a try, so in a sense I guess I’m still pretty monogamous. I wonder if, once I’ve developed relationships with more than one person, that this point of view will solidify in my mind. There are several people that I’ve played with on various occasions, all of whom I’ve gone on dates and developed relationships with. But still, there’s only one girl so far that I would feel comfortable calling a Partner (and even still that’s not something we’ve talked about yet).